Six Years Ago Today
by MissFantabulous
Summary: Elliot Stabler. 1961 2007. Father, police officer, friend. You will be missed. EO.
1. Licorice, Surprises, and Forced Smiles

A/N: So I've been trying to study for finals all night, but this idea was nagging at me for some reason so I thought maybe if I wrote a few lines just to have the idea for later, I would be able to study, but a few lines became an entire chapter and the makings of my next fic. But I won't be able to update this or _There You'll Be_ until after my finals are all done so it'll be a little over a week. Read and review everyone:)

Disclaimer: Olivia's milkshake brings Elliot to the yard and he's like "Wanna get it on?" and Liv's like "I wanna get it on, but Dick Wolf will fire me from my job."**

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**Chapter 1: Licorice, Surprises, and Forced Smiles**

She had never told anyone straight out, but they all knew. Those blue eyes and that set jaw; they'd all seen it before. Other than his nose and the natural highlights in his hair, every physical feature on that boy belonged to his father.

He leaned back in his chair watching through the window in his office as she sat with the giggling boy bouncing in her lap. He found it amazing how that boy could be so energetic at 7:30 in the morning. He watched as her eyes twinkled as she played with them, but he knew that once he was gone, that twinkle would fade.

He knew she was glad she had her son, but he also knew that she wanted the boy's father back more than anything in the world.

He sat watching her there for several moments before he felt a weight in his lap.

"Hi Grampa."

Cragen looked down and smiled at Jonathan who was sitting in his lap, chewing happily on a licorice stick.

"You sure your mom lets you eat those so early in the morning?" Cragen smiled.

Jonathan nodded. "Mhm. Mommy says I'm the only one who eats these anyway."

Cragen chuckled. "She's right."

"Mommy wanted me to tell you that she's gonna take me to school now." Jonathan hopped off of Cragen and continued to chomp on the licorice stick.

"Alright. Have a good day, Jonathan."

Jonathan skipped over to the door then turned to face Cragen again.

"Grampa?" The older man looked up from his work.

"Why is mommy sad today?"

"What do you mean?"

"I went into mommy's room and she was crying. I asked her if she had a booboo but she said she didn't."

Cragen licked his lips. He knew that today was going to be a hard day for Olivia…for all of them actually. Six years ago today was the day Elliot Stabler had been shot and killed. Sighing, he looked at the boy he considered his grandson.

"Sometimes grown ups just need-"

"Ready to go, Jonathan?"

Cragen smiled up at Olivia who had just entered his office. She returned the smile and ruffled her son's hair.

Jonathan nodded and pulled the licorice stick out of his mouth and stuck it in his pocket.

Olivia smiled at her son and playfully swatted him on the butt. "Go give Grampa a hug."

Jonathan skipped over to Cragen and hopped in his lap, emitting a soft grunt from the older man. "Bye Grampa."

Cragen released the boy. "Bye Jonathan. Have a good day."

Jonathan gave a final wave at Cragen and skipped his way in front of Olivia out of the office.

This was going to be one hell of a day.

* * *

"Good morning." 

Olivia looked up at her partner, Greg Weston, as he walked into the precinct and threw his jacket down at his desk.

"Hey."

Greg was a good cop and a decent guy, but he was nothing like Elliot. He didn't take his coffee black, he was neat, he didn't chew on pens and straws, he wasn't family-oriented, he just…he just wasn't Elliot.

Olivia's partnership with Greg was rocky for a while. First when she had just returned to work and found that all of Elliot's belongings were placed in a box by her desk and there was a stranger sitting in his seat. She had been hysterical and started screaming at the man, telling him that he could never replace Elliot and that he would never be as good as Elliot.

Cragen, who had heard Olivia screaming, had dragged her out of the precinct and held her as she cried hysterically. He had sent her home for another two weeks and when she returned, she was the same collected cop she was prior to Elliot's death.

After several months, Olivia and Greg had fallen into a comfortable routine. Nothing like the one she had with Elliot, but still, Greg was a good cop and they were able to work without tearing each other's heads off. He stayed out of her personal business and vice versa.

The two were fine as partners until one day Greg chose to ask Munch if he knew whether or not Olivia was single. Munch, who had been pretty decent to Greg, considering the situation, from the moment he got there, was furious and proceeded to give him a nice looking shiner.

When Olivia had asked Greg how he got the shiner, he had only stared at Munch, slightly intimidated and sunk lower in his chair. And with that, Olivia knew.

"Hey, you okay?"

Olivia looked up at Greg and realized she'd been staring at him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Greg knew what today was. He could tell on everyone's faces. On this day, Cragen spent most of his day in his office, Munch and Fin always came in late to work, and Olivia always dozed.

From what he had heard, Elliot Stabler had been a good cop known for his temper. He had the most collars in the unit, Olivia barely trailing him. He and Olivia had been partners longer than anyone else in the unit and he knew they had a bond that went a lot further than just partners. And from the few times he'd seen Olivia's son and pictures of Elliot, he could tell that the boy was as much Elliot's as he was Olivia's.

Greg nodded and sat in his chair. "Any new cases?"

"Nope, not yet. Today's just a day for paperwork, I guess." She shrugged.

"Alright, I'm going to go use the john. Be right back."

At that moment, Munch walked in, bag of bagels in hand.

"Morning, Liv." He said, placing a bagel on her desk.

"Hey John. You went already?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I saw Fin just getting there when I was leaving so he should be here in half an hour or so."

Placing down her pen and leaning back in her chair Olivia sighed. "I'm taking Jonathan today."

"His first time?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, Jonathan's got a surprise for him, too, but he won't tell me what it is."

John smiled. "If it's like anything I ever gave my father it's probably a crappy piece of macaroni art. But then again, your kid's a lot more artistic than I ever was."

Olivia returned his smile and glanced up above the door where a framed picture of Elliot sat. She'd read the plaque beneath it hundreds, probably thousands, of times.

_Elliot Stabler. 1961-2007. Father, police officer, friend. You will be missed._

Closing her eyes, Olivia forced back the tears that always threatened to spill out each time she read it. She felt John's hand give her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"We all miss him, Liv."

Olivia nodded slightly and opened her eyes. "I know."

Recollecting herself she smiled up at John. "Thanks."

"It's what I'm here for."

"Good morning, Munch."

John looked up at Greg, who was just walking in. "Morning, Weston."

"Where's Fin?" Cragen bellowed as he walked out of his office.

"He's at the cemetery. He'll be here in a bit." John informed him.

Cragen nodded. "We've got a case, guys. Munch, Weston, get over to 82nd and Broadway. There's a dead Jane Doe with signs of rape. Check it out."

The two left the room and a confused Olivia stood and walked over to Cragen's office.

"Cap, what's the deal?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Weston's my partner, why'd you send him out with Munch?"

Cragen licked his lips and sighed. Suddenly, Olivia knew exactly why Cragen hadn't let her go.

"Cap, I'm fine. I know you're concerned about me because of…what today is, but I can work. I'm okay." she told him with a half-forced smile.

"Olivia, I just think…I think it's better if you're on desk duty for today."

"Cap-"

"That's an order, Olivia."

Olivia nodded solemnly and cursed under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." she mumbled.

And with a slam of the door, Olivia left Cragen's office.


	2. Cooties, Pansies, and Reappearances

A/N: I want to thank everyone who reviewed chapter 1. I also want to thank Essy for betaing. You guys are awesome:)

Disclaimer: There was a writer who had some characters and Dick Wolf was his name-o!**  
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**Chapter 2: Cooties, Pansies, and Reappearances**

Several hours later, Olivia found herself in the interrogation room with a suspect Munch and Weston had picked up.

The case seemed like it was going to be an easy win. They had the guy's DNA at the scene and in a few minutes of interrogation, the suspect broke and confessed everything to Olivia. Greg and Olivia walked out of the interrogation room as Munch threw the perp into a holding cell.

"Good work, Benson."

She smiled slightly. "Thanks."

It was already 5:30 and the entire squad was tired from the day. Olivia's hand was practically throbbing from all the paperwork she had done on desk duty. She walked into Cragen's office, informed him that she was leaving, and after getting the okay, gathered her belongings and said goodbye to Munch, Fin, and Greg.

* * *

"Mommy!" Olivia smiled as her son ran towards her, Sesame Street lunchbox swinging in his left hand and his matching book bag slapping against his back.

"Hey, baby. How was your day?" she asked as she knelt down to embrace him.

"Bad. Rebecca kissed me today. It was gross."

Olivia chuckled and took his book bag. "I think she likes you."

"Ew. Girls have cooties."

"Even Mommy?" Olivia asked, opening the back door for her son.

"Nah. You're my mommy. You don't count." He grinned as he hopped into the car and buckled himself in.

She ruffled his hair and shut the door. Sometimes she wondered how she was so blessed to get a son as amazing as Jonathan.

He was her miracle child. He had been born about two months earlier than he was supposed to. After keeping him in the hospital because of lung problems for almost a year, the doctors finally gave Olivia the okay to take him home.

Casey and the guys had stayed by her side through everything. Casey was with her when she was giving birth and the men rotated shifts to stay with her when she would refuse to leave Jonathan at the hospital alone, which happened almost every night. Munch had stayed with her most of the time and he was the only person other than Casey that she let see her cry. So for that, she had named her son Jonathan.

But she did want some part of Elliot's name to be in Jonathan's, so she gave him Elliot's middle name. Jonathan Michael Benson.

She had great friends, a fulfilling job, and an amazing son. All she needed now was Elliot.

She hadn't originally been planning on taking Jonathan with her today. But one evening about a week earlier while Olivia had been preparing dinner, he had asked her who his father was.

Olivia had froze even though she had been anticipating the moment he'd ask her that from the time she knew that she had a person growing inside of her. She had stopped what she was doing and told him about how Elliot had died a few months before he, Jonathan, was born. She had left out the part about Elliot dying on the job fearing that her son would fear his mom dying on the job as well. But Jonathan had accepted the explanation and asked her if he could go with  
her to see him.

"We're here, baby."

* * *

Checking his watch, he noted that it was 6:30. The flight, only a two hour one, had seemed to last forever. He adjusted his baseball cap and smiled to himself as he walked into the  
building. This was home to him.

Exiting the elevator, he walked into the precinct, only finding the man who he supposed was his replacement on the phone sitting at what was formerly his desk. He glanced at Olivia's desk, which was exactly the same except for a framed picture of a boy who looked about five years old had been added.

He didn't think much of the picture; he just figured it was Simon's son.

He continued walking and knocked on Cragen's door and entered when he heard the older man's voice. "Come in."

He entered the office and pulled off the baseball cap that had been covering his face and faced the man he hadn't seen in six years.

Cragen's jaw dropped open. "Elliot…"

Elliot smiled. "Hey, Cap'."

Cragen stood and walked in front of his desk. Elliot stuck out his hand for his captain to shake. Cragen took his hand and pulled him in for a hug.

After a friendly hug, Cragen stood back and regarded the man he thought he'd never see again. "They didn't tell me you were in Witness Protection. It would've saved everyone a lot of years of grief."

"I guess that's why they didn't tell you. They figured you'd tell someone, probably Liv."

Cragen chuckled. "And we all know how stubborn she is."

Elliot smiled. "Where is she anyway?"

"She's at your grave right now. Today was the day you 'died'."

Elliot nodded. "What cemetery am I buried at?"

Cragen smiled. "Trinity Church Cemetery."

"Thanks, Cap'. I'll be back for my job later." He stood to leave and Cragen smiled broadly for the first time in a long time.

"Welcome back, Elliot."

* * *

Olivia parked the car and turned to find her son sitting with a bag in his lap. "Jonathan, what is that?"

"It's a surprise for Daddy," he said

Olivia smiled at her son and got out of the car, Jonathan following her lead.

She grasped his hand and they walked the path Olivia had walked many times before to Elliot's grave. They finally stopped at tombstone that was already clad in dozens of flowers, presumably from Elliot's children, Kathy, Munch, Fin, Warner, and Casey.

Olivia never brought flowers because she and Elliot had once discussed receiving and giving flowers. He had told her that he once got flowers from a friend and he felt like a pansy for "a lot longer than those damned flowers lasted." Olivia had laughed at the moment and brought him flowers the next day, leaving them on his desk, with a note that read "To my favorite pansy. -Liv"

He hadn't talked to her for a week.

"Hey, El. I, uh, I brought someone here with me this time and, uh, he's got a surprise for you."

Jonathan walked in front of Olivia, kneeled on the ground, and opened his brown paper bag.

Pulling out a folded paper, he unfolded it and placed it on the grass in front of the tomb. "I drew this for you. It's a picture of Mommy, me, and you. I didn't know what you looked like, but Mommy showed me a picture."

He paused to reach in the bag again before pulling out a picture.

"Uncle Munchy gave me this. It's a picture of Mommy, Uncle Munchy, Uncle Fin, Grampa, Auntie Casey, and me at my birthday. Mommy says I have the same birthday as you."

At this point, Olivia was sobbing quietly behind her son.

Jonathan placed the picture next to his drawing before stopping to grab another item in the bag. "This is my hat from tee ball. Mommy says I play better than you did so maybe my hat could bring you luck when you play against Jesus."

Olivia smiled through her tears, her hands gently squeezing her son's shoulders.

Jonathan crumpled the bag, stuffing it into his pocket, and stood from his knees. "I hope you like the stuff I got."

He turned and looked at his mom. "Was that okay, Mommy?"

Olivia smiled. "Baby, that was great."

Jonathan grinned, proud of his surprise, and stepped beside his mother.

Olivia kneeled down in front of the tomb. "Amazing kid, isn't he?" She paused to ruffle Jonathan's hair.

"That's probably my biggest regretnot being able to tell you I was pregnant with Jonathan before you died. It was only once, but it was the best night of my life, El, and it gave me the best thing I've ever had in this world. I owe you everything, Elliot. Without you, I would've never had anyone to depend on, I would've never had anyone to confide in, I would've never had a best friend. But most importantly, I would've never gotten the greatest gift I've ever gotten. I only wish you were here so you could meet him." Olivia paused to wipe the tears away from her eyes.

"God, Elliot. I miss you so much, so damn much. You and Jonathan mean the world to me. I wish that I had told you how much I care about you when you were here. You deserved to know, you still do. I love you, Elliot. I love you so much."

With tears streaming down her face, Olivia turned into the arms of her son. She embraced him tightly, eyes closed, as she felt Jonathan's tears stream onto her shoulder. She wished Jonathan had gotten the chance to meet his father. She knew what it was like growing up not knowing your father, obviously for different reasons, but still, the general idea of growing up  
without a father was the same.

"I love you, Mommy," Jonathan sobbed into her shoulder.

"I love you, too." She hugged her son tighter against her chest and slowly opened her eyes.

_Oh my God…_

And there he stood, in all his glory, with his hands nervously dug into his pockets his face tear-stained.

"Elliot…"

Jonathan pulled back from his mom. "Huh?" He saw the shocked look on his mother's face and became concerned. "Mommy?"

He followed her gaze and saw what his mother was looking at. Immediately recognizing the man from the picture Jonathan ran toward his father and began punching him in the leg and screaming something unintelligible.

"Jonathan!" Olivia cried. She stood and ran toward her son and pulled him off of Elliot.

Kneeling back down to Jonathan's height, Olivia wiped away his tears. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You told me he went to live with Jesus." He paused to sniffle. "If he wasn't, he should've come to find us. He made you cry lots of times."

Olivia shut her eyes briefly, pushing back more tears, and turned to face Elliot.

"Um, you want to get out of here?"

Elliot nodded, watching in horror as he found out he had made Olivia cry for six years, and followed her and Jonathan to their car.


	3. Mental Math, Nerves, and Sparks

**A/N:** -avoids flying objects thrown by angry readers- Hi, guys! I know this has taken FOREVER to post, but please go read the Author's Note in my other SVU story "Family" to find out why. I'm kind of too lazy to type it all again. x)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Dick Wolf owns me.

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Chapter 3: Mental Math, Nerves, and Sparks**

Olivia opened her apartment door and stepped aside to let her son and Elliot through. She entered the apartment and tossed her jacket and keys on the counter.

Sighing, she looked over at Jonathan, who was standing with his arms crossed over his tiny chest glaring at Elliot. If she wasn't still in shock at Elliot's sudden arrival, she would have thought he looked cute.

Olivia looked down at her son. "Jonathan, why don't you go wash up for dinner?"

"But Mommy-"

"One, two..." Jonathan quickly turned and ran to his room at the sound of his mother's stern voice.

Olivia turned and noticed Elliot was simply leaning against the wall opposite to her, staring at the ground. She stepped into her kitchen and leaned against the counter.

She had never felt uncomfortable around Elliot. Not even at the beginning of their partnership was she this uncomfortable around him. The car ride over to her apartment had been painstakingly silent and awkward. The only sound had been the occasional sniffle from Jonathan in the backseat.

Olivia opened a cabinet door, pulling out an aspirin bottle, and popped two of the pills into her mouth. She swallowed them back with ease and returned to the living room where she now found Elliot sitting on the couch, hands folded in his lap.

"You, uh...you want anything?" she asked him tentatively.

Elliot looked up and shook his head. "No, I'm okay."

Olivia nodded and took a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

"When'd you get back?"

Elliot pulled off his baseball cap and looked over at her. "A few hours ago."

She stared at the ground and nodded. They sat uncomfortably in silence until he spoke up.

"How old is he?"

Olivia looked over at him, puzzled. "Who?"

"Jonathan. How old is he?"

Olivia nodded slightly and shifted in her seat. "He turns 6 next November."

Quickly doing the mental math, Elliot realized that Jonathan could not be his. Sighing uncomfortably, he played with the cap that lay in his hands.

He never imagined it would be this awkward between him and Olivia. On the plane ride home, he'd been so excited to see everyone. His kids, Cragen, Munch, Fin, Casey, even Kathy. But more than anything, he wanted to see Olivia. He had missed her more than anyone. He had even envisioned several different scenarios of what would happen when he finally met up with her. None of those included finding out she'd had a son and that his "death" had made her cry for six years.

Suddenly, an overwhelming wave of guilt washed over him.

"Olivia, I'm so-" Elliot was cut off by the feeling of two tiny arms wrapped around his neck, slightly restricting his breathing.

Olivia looked up in horror. "Jonathan, get off of him!"

Just as she was about to stand and peel her son off of Elliot, Elliot swung Jonathan around his side into his lap and began tickling the small boy's stomach. Olivia watched with a small smile as Jonathan giggled and squirmed under Elliot's fingers.

She looked up at Elliot and sighed happily. He was grinning widely down at her son.

_Their_ son.

The smile that had been on her face quickly disappeared.

Did he know? Did Elliot know that the boy he was tickling this very moment was just as much his son as he was hers? She looked back up at Elliot and saw that he was placing Jonathan back on the floor.

"No fair," he said breathlessly. "You tickled me!" he pointed a tiny finger at Elliot and frowned.

Elliot shrugged and smiled at the boy, clearly amused.

"Jon, go back to your room please," Olivia said as she ran a hand through her hair.

Jonathan looked up at his mother with a pleading look. All he wanted to do was help his mother. He groaned and turned back to face Elliot.

"You're a bad daddy!"

He turned and ran off to his room.

_Oh shit._

Olivia closed her eyes, hoping that Elliot hadn't heard that. Elliot blinked a few times, still staring at the spot where Jonathan had been standing.

_What the hell did he mean?_ Elliot thought with a frown.

Looking over at Olivia, he noticed she looked even more uncomfortable than before. Her eyes were tightly shut, so he took that opportunity to slowly slide over to her, closing the gap between them a bit.

"Liv?" he reached forward and placed a hand on her arm gently.

They both immediately froze as they felt the spark run through each of their bodies.

Olivia opened her eyes, feeling her body start to tingle under his touch. Their eyes locked and Olivia felt her body melting beneath his gaze. They sat together, glued in the same position for several moments before Olivia pulled away and stood up.

She walked to the opposite end of the room and turned away from him, closing her eyes once again remembering that although she loved the moments like this that she shared with him, he still owed her an explanation.

"What are you doing here, Elliot?" she cringed slightly at the harshness of her voice.

He looked up at her and tilted his head to the side. "What do you mean? In New York or in your apartment?"

Olivia swallowed back the lump in her throat and glanced back at him. "Both," she paused before adding, "you're supposed to be dead."

Elliot stood from the couch and walked over to her. He attempted to make eye contact with her for a few seconds before giving up after she refused to meet his eye.

"After I," he hesitated, not wanting to say 'died', "got shot...they threw me in WPP."

Olivia looked up abruptly. "Why? We caught the guy two days after your," Olivia looked away quickly, "funeral."

Elliot watched her sympathetically. He never knew that his disappearance would affect her so much. Here she was, standing before him, vainly trying to conceal the fact that she was torn up inside about him being gone and now suddenly returning.

He sighed and nodded slightly. "I know, but the rest of his gang was still around and it was likely that they'd go after me if I stayed."

Olivia shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe Cragen didn't tell me," she muttered.

"He didn't know," Elliot quickly said.

She looked up at him, a bit shocked. "What?"

"Cragen didn't know...no one did. The Feds never told anyone, especially not Cragen; they thought he'd tell you."

The two were silent for a moment.

"Why didn't you call?"

"Liv, I-"

"You didn't call once, Elliot. You were gone six years. Six Goddamn years and you couldn't even pay me the decency of one phone call, one explanation!" Olivia's body trembled with unshed tears.

Elliot felt his heart breaking slowly as he watched her. He felt tears pressing at his eyes and he took a step closer to her. "Olivia, I wanted to. I wanted to call you. You have no idea how many times I picked up a phone and wanted to call you."

"Then why didn't you?" she whispered.

"Olivia...I couldn't. I dialed your number once about 6 months after I left and the call was intercepted by a federal agent telling me that I couldn't call any number in relation to New York. They said I'd be risking not only my life, but my family's...and yours."

Olivia bit her lip and nodded.

"I wasn't going to risk your life, Liv. I never would." Elliot raised a hand and gently placed it on her cheek. Olivia closed her eyes and tried pushing back the tears that were pressing at her eyelids.

He cared. After all this time, he still cared about her.

Olivia suddenly began feeling very guilty for being angry at him. She opened her eyes and felt a single tear stream down her cheek.

Quickly wiping it away with the pad of his thumb, Elliot placed a free hand on her waist and slowly pulled her towards him.

Olivia shut her eyes, reveling in the feeling of his warmth radiate onto her skin. She raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck and they pulled each other close, never wanting to let go.


	4. Dinosaur Bites, Icecream, and Anger

**A/N:** Sorry for the slight delay. School's been craaazy. Bleh. Anyway, I want to hear what you guys thought of the season premiere. I didn't really find the episode that great, other than the whole "Olivia's traumatized" premise. I think I was just expecting more from a season premiere. And I miss Diane Neal!! :(

Also, congrats to Mariska for her Emmy nomination. I was uber bummed that she didn't get it, but I mean, come on, it's Glenn fucking Close. Haha.

Well anyway, I'm sorry to give you guys some bad news, but this is a rather poorly written chapter. I'm not really feeling it at all. If you guys have any suggestions as to where you want this story to go, please let me know. I've kind of lost my inspiration, I'm just praying that now that the new season has started, ideas will start popping into my head.

Enjoy, everyone.  
-Natalie :)

**Disclaimer:** I want Diane Neal back. :(  


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**Chapter 4: Dinosaur Bites, Icecream, and Anger**

Hours later, Olivia, Elliot, and Jonathan sat at the dinner table enjoying some Chinese take-out.

They were all relatively silent. Jonathan was still wary of Elliot's sudden arrival and Elliot was still silently pondering the meaning of Jonathan's words from hours before.

"_You're a bad daddy!"_

Olivia watched as Elliot stared intently at Jon. She was pretty sure that Elliot was still uncertain as to whether or not Jonathan was his son. She bit down on her lower lips softly, hoping that her suspicions were correct. She wanted Elliot to find out about their son from her. How was she going to let him know? She hadn't figured out that detail just yet.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Olivia shot her head over to look at Elliot, who was seated to her right. "Huh?"

"You look pretty deep in thought," he clarified with a soft smile.

Olivia returned the smile and pushed her noodles across the plate with her fork and shrugged. "It's nothing."

Jonathan, who was sitting across from Olivia, dropped his fork onto the plate and pushed it forward. "Mommy, I'm done."

Olivia eyed the plate, noting that more than half of the food that she'd served to him still remained. "J, eat some more please."

"But Mommy, I'm full," Jonathan pleaded quietly.

"Baby, just--"

"Hey Jonathan, how 'bout you take three more bites and Mommy'll give you some icecream. "

Jonathan's eyes suddenly lit up and he shifted his gaze from Elliot to Olivia suspiciously. "Really?"

"Sure," she replied, shooting a thankful smile at Elliot.

Picking up his fork, Jonathan poked his honey chicken and took a small bite out of it. Just as he was about to take another small bite, Elliot cut him off.

"Dinosaur bites."

With a scowl, Jonathan opened his mouth wide and took a large bite out of the chicken as Olivia looked on, completely amused at the interaction between the two.

Three bites later, Olivia placed a small bowl of icecream in front of Jonathan as promised.

"Thanks, Mommy," he said through a mouthful of chocolate.

Smiling, Olivia reentered the kitchen where she found Elliot washing dishes.

"You don't have to do that, you know," she told him.

He turned to face her briefly before shrugging and turning back to the sink. "I know."

They stood in silence for several moments, the occasional clanking of dishes being placed in the drying rack the only audible noise in the room.

"Thanks for your help back there by the way," Olivia said softly.

Grabbing a paper towel, Elliot dried his hands and turned to face Olivia. "No problem. Sometimes you got to bribe a kid."

"Speaking of kids, shouldn't you go see yours?"

"I talked to Kathy when I got off the plane. She's out of town with Dickie and Lizzie and Kathleen and Maur and in Boston checking out some grad schools."

Olivia suddenly frowned. "So where are you staying tonight?"

"I was going to head back to the precinct and knock out in the crib," he stated casually. Elliot's face contorted into confusion when he saw the incredulous look Olivia was shooting at him.

"What?"

"You're staying here tonight," she stated definitively.

"I am?"

"You are."

Confusion was still clearly evident on Elliot's face, so Olivia sighed in exasperation and clarified for him.

"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't let you stay for the night?" Olivia looked down and suddenly blushed, realizing that the last time he'd spent the night was the night of Jonathan's conception.

Elliot felt his cheeks redden as well as he realized what Olivia was thinking.

"I could just call up Munch or Fin and maybe stay with them," he said suddenly, not wanting to make Olivia feel uncomfortable in her own home.

Her head immediately shot up. "No. Stay."

They exchanged a warm smile and Elliot felt himself relax knowing that he was wanted. Wanted by Olivia, no less.

"Mommy?"

Olivia turned to face Jonathan, who was now standing in the doorway of the kitchen, his empty bowl of icecream in his cupped hands. Olivia took the bowl from the boy and placed it in the sink before kneeling down before him.

"Go brush your teeth and get into bed. I'll be there in a sec, okay?"

Nodding, Jonathan smiled slightly and leaned up to kiss his mother on the cheek. He looked over at Elliot and hesitated for a moment before waving to him and running off to the bathroom.

Smirking to himself, Elliot watched as Olivia returned to her normal height and walked over to the sink, quickly washing out the bowl.

"You're a good mom, Liv."

Olivia's head shot up and she searched Elliot's eyes. She smiled when she saw that there was no hidden meaning in his statement. He truly meant it.

"Thanks," she said, grinning slightly. "Can you give me a second? I'm going to go put Jon to sleep."

Nodding, Elliot stepped aside to let Olivia through the doorway, ignoring the tightening in his pants he felt when her upper body brushed up against his chest as she passed.

* * *

Several minutes later, Elliot was sitting on the couch, absently flipping through channels on the television. After about a minute of clicking, he finally turned it off. It had been almost half an hour since Olivia had left to put Jonathan to sleep.

Curiosity and slight worry caused him to stand from the couch and quietly make his way towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

Elliot slowly walked down the hallway, pausing every now and then to stare at the framed pictures hanging on either side of the walls.

The first picture he noticed was one from what he guessed was a NYPD sponsored Christmas party. In the picture, a pregnant Olivia stood between Casey and Fin, Munch standing on the opposite side of Casey, an arm draped over her shoulders.

_Well there's something I missed._

Elliot continued to walk down the hallway and stopped when another picture caught his eye.

Olivia was dressed in a hospital gown standing beside Jonathan, who looked only a few hours old and was slightly transparent. Elliot's brow furrowed slightly as he stared at the picture. Jonathan looked much too small for a newborn.

"He was born prematurely," a voice said from behind him.

Elliot turned and saw Olivia staring at the picture. Her eyes were slightly glazed with nostalgia. After placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, she shifted her gaze to him.

She shot him a thankful smile before walking past him and entering her bedroom. She emerged several moments later, a book in hand, finding Elliot standing in the same spot.

"Come on," she said quietly before walking back into the living room, Elliot close on her heels.

They sat on the couch side by side. Olivia pulled the book into her lap and ran her hands delicately over the cover. Elliot eyed the book, a bit nervous as to what was inside.

"Here," Olivia whispered, sliding the book over into Elliot's lap.

He shot her a curious look before flipping open the leather cover of the book hesitantly.

A smile made its way onto Elliot's face as he saw the seven Polaroids glued onto the first page, signifying the seven months Olivia had been pregnant, each showing her turned to the side, her stomach larger in each picture.

Elliot instantly regretted not being around for Olivia's pregnancy.

"You should be pregnant more often," he muttered.

"What?"

"Um, I mean...not by-not by me or anything, well unless you wanted, but I'm just saying that you-you looked beautiful when you were pregnant," he stammered, clearly embarrassed.

Noting Olivia's bemused expression, he nervously continued, "I mean that's not say that you don't look beautiful otherwise, but I--"

"Elliot," Olivia interrupted, chuckling. "Shut up."

Feeling a shade of pink rise into his cheeks, Elliot turned away from Olivia, facing the book once again. He gently flipped the page, careful not to damage it in any way.

His smile grew as he stared at the small black and white picture attached to the page. Underneath the sonogram were the words "4 months" written in Olivia's slightly messy scrawl.

Beneath the sonogram was another photo. In this one, Jonathan had the same transparent appearance he'd had in the framed picture in the hallway.

Elliot felt his throat tighten as a surge of emotions coursed through this body.

Beside him, he heard Olivia sniffling and he turned his head to look over at her. He placed a comforting hand on her knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. He smiled when he felt her hand come to rest on top of his.

With his free hand, Elliot carefully turned the page, feeling his heart stop momentarily as he silently read the birth certificate attached to the page.

_Jonathan Michael Benson_

_November 22, 2008 4:38 A.M._

_3 lbs. 4 oz._

_Mother: Olivia Marie Benson_

_Father: Elliot Michael Stabler_

"Liv, I..." Elliot's voice trailed off as he tried to find something to say to her. Anything.

"I've never shown that to anyone," Olivia said softly. "Everyone suspects, but no one knows for sure."

Elliot pulled back his hand from Olivia's and ran it through his closely cropped hair. His mouth opened then closed as he struggled to find something to say.

"Olivia, I...are you sure I'm his father?"

Olivia glared at him at stood up from the couch, snatching the book from Elliot's lap in the process. "Of course I am."

She shut the book and held it close to her chest, desperately hoping that her tears wouldn't fall. She glanced back at Elliot and noticed that he still looked unconvinced.

"Elliot, he looks just like you," she said, examining his face closely. When she saw that he was still wearing the same disbelieving expression, she scoffed loudly.

"Jesus, Elliot, you want to take a fuckin' DNA test to prove it?"

Finally, Elliot's expression changed and he looked over at Olivia. "No...it's not that I don't believe you. I just," he paused, sighing. "This is all happening really fast."

"Really fast? Elliot 'this' happened in the six years that _you_ were gone."

Elliot stood from the couch, taking a stride over to Olivia, and glared at her. "You're blaming me for being _put into_ Witness Protection?"

Olivia, who had briefly been intimidated by Elliot towering above her, squinted her eyes and hid her fear. She knew Elliot would never hit her, but the way his face was twitching with anger, she was starting to doubt that belief.

"Maybe if you'd done your job you wouldn't have gotten shot," she spat.

Elliot's expression instantly changed from angry to hurt. He took a step back from her, making Olivia's immediately regret her bitter words.

"I'm going to go."

And with that, Elliot rushed over angrily to the door, slamming it behind him and leaving a crying Olivia in his wake.


End file.
